By Hand
by MsNewBeesly
Summary: It was unnerving that he was still so in tune with Pam, even after all the time he spent trying to sever ties with her. He was simply pretending that his feelings had actually been altered in any way. So little had changed.


Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story aren't mine…Though I wish they were.

Rating: Mature. This is a bit too spicy for the chilluns…Also, if you're offended by situations of a sexual nature, you need not read this fic. Otherwise, enjoy.

Please Read and Review…This is my first fanfic…so be gentle!

By Hand

Pam sat trying to ignore the clock that teased her relentlessly with its slow ticking. She felt as though she could stare at it for an hour, but neither a short nor a long hand would move to save her life. Why she decided to come in so early was a mystery. Especially when it was a holiday. It was Labor Day. She had absolutely no plans and thought that she'd rather waste time and get paid for it than sit at home. The previous Friday morning, Michael had let everyone know that he would be in on Monday to do some catch up work, so anyone wanting to get ahead of the game should come and keep him company. He looked a little down, something must have happened between him and Jan. Pam thought she'd come in for a few hours just to make him feel a little better. To her surprise, Jim also showed up to work today. She thought that with his break up with Karen he'd at least try and give himself some downtime. Work is probably the last place he wanted to be, but if she knew him he wanted to keep his mind busy. So far this morning, his interaction with her was limited to their greeting earlier that morning.

She watched as he read over his forms, his long index finger skimming over each line to make sure he had correctly filled it out. He raked his right hand through his naturally messy hair and sighed. As always, could feel her eyes punch right through his focus. It was unnerving that he was still so in tune with Pam, even after all the time he spent trying to sever ties with her. He was simply pretending that his feelings had actually been altered in any way. So little had changed.

Jim turned around to give her a smile and a slight wave, but by the time he faced her she was in deep concentration with something on her desk.

_Am I imagining things? I could swear she was looking at me. I think all of this work is getting to me. I am never going to be this productive again unless my life depends on it_…

Pam smiled. She caught the unmistakable look of confusion on Jim's face. He knew that she was looking.

_Yes, I was staring at you. You know. You've always known._ As wonderful a diversion as Jim could was to her, she felt the dull ache of boredom settle in. She wondered how he could be so busy and she could be so exasperatingly unoccupied. To keep her mind from going numb, she occupied herself with thought.

_So what do I need to do this week?…Oh! I've got my art class at seven tomorrow...and that's it. Things are so different with Roy not around. And it feels good to say that I don't miss him—that I can't miss him. He'd probably make plans with me and I'd skip my class and he'd call about ten minutes before he was supposed to meet me to cancel with some lame excuse. Ten years of my life gone. That was all I ever knew. How I sought comfort in that I'll never know. Maybe it wasn't so comfortable as it was safe. Now I just have so much more…hope. And free time that I don't have to guilt myself out of keeping. Maybe I'll watch a movie tonight before I go to bed. Something funny. You've got to laugh to keep from crying, I suppose…I could use a good cry though…Hmm. I think I'll try and watch the newest Will Farrell movie…it's supposed to be good. Haha, oh I'll never forget that argument Jim and I had about his greatest SNL character. It was epic. He's adorable when he's all flustered and impassioned about something. His eyes just light up…They bore right into you. Oh and his hands…God I love his hands. He gestures so wildly you'd think he was impersonating Michael._

Her own hands began to tingle with the need to move as her mind honed in on his hands. She watched them scratch the back of his neck, hold a pen to his mouth as he chewed it absently… She looked around her desk for a piece of blank paper. Under memos and folders she'd sorted there was none to be found. She looked in her printer expecting to see a few sheets but laughed in shock when she discovered that it was empty. As an employee of a paper company the irony was not lost on her, but was she was beginning to get a little annoyed. She gave up on her search for a blank sheet and decided to use a legal pad instead. Pencil in hand she felt her thoughts return to Jim, as always, but this time without the slightest tinge of guilt.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as the tip of the pencil made its first mark dark mark against the soft yellow paper. She glanced up periodically at Jim's left hand as it held his head up. His right one was busy helping him scroll down a spreadsheet as Jim searched for a certain figure on his computer.

She started with drawing his wrist and worked her way up to his knuckles, shading when appropriate, but letting the small outline of light created by his computer be represented adequately as well. His fingers were shrouded a little by his hair. _His soft, messy hair. I'd love to run my hands through it, maybe give him a scalp massage. He'd like that…I wonder if Karen ever…No. I'm not going to let myself think about her. Or him with his hands all over her—What is wrong with me? God, Beesly. Focus. Is he turning around again? He just perked up a little bit._ He turned around and saw her glance down again. She wasn't as quick as she had been before. Her cheeks began to darken to a shade that nearly matched the pink of her lips. She had been caught. Jim couldn't help but smile as he turned back around and tried to find his place again in the vast spreadsheet.

Pam returned to her sketch a little more embarrassed than when she had started. As she finished it, her thoughts began to wander again. I do love Jim's hands…I felt so deliciously safe as he wrapped his arms around me the night he kissed me. Nothing I had ever done in my life had felt so right. I wish I could feel his hands on me again…Holding me so close. I wanted to melt into him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And caused him so much pain in the process. For Roy. For propriety. For nothing. She was looking at Jim again, only her eyes weren't focused on him. Pam pushed out the thoughts that were triggering the release of tears and instead kept remembering. The weight of his warm, large hands pressing into her lower back. His fingers splaying over the fabric of her dress. She absently brought her finger to her lips and sighed.

What would it have been like if she hadn't said anything that night? If she had just stayed…

She feels his lips trailing kisses down her neck, she sighs as he nips her earlobe gently. The feel of his heated breath against her sensitive skin is dizzying. Her knees give a little and she steps over to his desk and sits atop it, pulling Jim flush to her. He reclaims her mouth again hungrily and slowly slides his fingers from the nape of her neck down her spine…across to her hip and down her thigh. She shivers as he reaches the end of the heated trail Her own hands slide down to the hem of her dress and pull the fabric back toward her, uncovering her legs completely. Jim's hands begin to explore the newly exposed skin, starting on the outside of her thighs, rubbing them. Their tongues duel playfully as his hands crept closer to the inside. She sighs through their kiss as his fingers lightly brush the underside of her knees. He ever so lightly trails a finger up her inner thigh, slowly. She thought she would die from the anticipation of where it is heading and from the sensation it is creating. She spreads her legs wider and slides her hands up his sleeves to feel his arms. As he reached his final destination he could feel the heat of her arousal. He draws a lazy circle around the skin closest to her center. She grips his arms in anticipation, he loves to tease her, but she needs this touch so badly. She is aching for it. Finally, he gives in to her. He pulls back the surprisingly damp fabric of her panties and taps the throbbing bundle of nerves above her opening. Her hips buck at such sharp pleasure, so much so that she bucked herself right out of her own daydream, to the amusement of Jim, who had been watching her.

He had felt her eyes on him again, but was surprised to see her not look away. There was a heat in her eyes. She wasn't focusing on him, however. He could tell she was daydreaming when she placed her finger on her lips, moving it back and forth with a sigh. He couldn't believe that she would be so bold…Or maybe it was his imagination again. In a second she'll probably realize she's spacing out and she'll giggle in that adorable way she does and quickly look away, blushing. A few seconds had passed and she didn't look away. He had to admit the effect that she was having on him was unnerving. She was tearing down walls that he had built with something as simple as a glazed over stare. She quietly sighed and her eyes fluttered a little. Her complexion grew a little pink and he realized what was happening. Pam was having a naughty daydream…about him! Well, at least he was pretty sure it was him she was daydreaming about. Just the thought of him doing things to her with no kind of restraint was enough to get him hard instantly. He discreetly put a stack of folders over his lap in case she snapped back before he could will himself back to a normal state. Only he couldn't exactly concentrate on anything but his lap and Pam. She sighed again and let her finger trail down her neck, down the front of her blouse…down…down… He saw her hips buck and he nearly came at the sight. She seemed to snap back to reality, and to a pair of darkened eyes staring at her. She turned an even darker shade of pink as the realization of what happened slapped her in the face. She was at a loss for words.

He knew what had been going on, but he didn't seem upset or weirded out. He seemed uncomfortable, but not in the way she expected. Jim simply smiled at her and shook his head. After checking to see if Michael was invested enough in his work for him to go talk to her, he got up, keeping the folders in place. She turned her legal pad over quickly and he raised an eyebrow. Could she not hide anything from him?

"What's up, Beesly, are you hiding something from me?" he said huskily.

"I could ask you the same question," she said slyly motioning toward the folders he held strategically in front of his groin. Jim chuckled nervously and Pam licked her lips. She was still a little embarrassed at the intimate moment that had transpired, but she was relieved to know that she was causing him such pleasurable discomfort.

"You know, I like this Fancy New Beesly. Moxy looks good on you_." I wonder what she'd look like with nothing on but her moxy…Oh God, I'm hopeless. Too bad the men's room doesn't have a shower…I could use a cold shower right about now._

They could feel the tension between them strangling their reserve, unnerving them. Pretending was becoming harder to do. Harder to put up with. Pam missed Jim too much to bear. She wanted to hold him and never let him go. Just a piece of him wasn't enough. She looked up at him. Her eyes locked with his, searching for what she knew had to still be there. She could feel it, she just needed visual affirmation. He could feel the last brick of the fortress he had hidden in for months melt away. She loved him. She was so incredibly sorry she caused him so much heartache. It was killing her. She wanted his forgiveness, she pleaded him for it. She wanted him again. She wanted her best friend again.

"Jim…" she half whispered, half sighed.

"I know. I know." he said, his voice catching in his throat.

Tears began to collect in her beautiful eyes. He placed the folders on her desk and cupped her face, wiping away the tears that dove down her face with his thumbs. "Let's get out of here."

She smiled and nodded. They gathered their belongings and headed to the elevator. The second the doors closed their lips crashed and caressed one another. Their hands roamed freely, grasping hair, sliding down arms, holding bodies closer. They ceased after the doors opened and began to close on them again. As tempting as it was to stay in the elevator they thought it would be best to venture elsewhere.

"Your place or mine?" Jim said. His roommate Mark wouldn't be home for a few hours and the place was relatively clean.

"Let's go to my place. I think you need to familiarize yourself with it. It's new, after all. Plus I don't have a roommate so we can make as much noise as we want."

Jim felt his member stir in his pants at the thought and groaned. "I'll take that as a yes." Pam giggled.

Pam drove but felt it was the longest car ride of her life, especially while Jim's hand caressed her thigh similar to the way she had imagined earlier. As he was working toward her inner thigh they arrived at her apartment. She released her death grip on the steering wheel and turned off the engine once she was parked in her garage. She looked at Jim and felt inner muscles clench at the way his eyes were fixated on his ministrations to her lower half. They exited the car quickly and barely made it in the door before they were kissing again. Pam was pressed up against the wall of her kitchen. She moaned at the feel of Jim's erection pulsing against her belly. She nearly tore off her blouse as he struggled to free himself from his pants. Jim slid his fingers beneath the satin of her bra and pinched the hardened peaks beneath it. Her breasts were soft and heavy in his hands. He blazed a trail of hot, wet kisses down her neck and shoulder to her collarbone. The bra she was wearing had a front clasp and was easily and quickly removed. After lightly sucking the skin between her breasts he closed his mouth on her right nipple. Pam cried out, her hands grasping his brown hair, holding him there. As he continued to pleasure her he raked his fingernails down her right side. "Oh God, Jim…" She had no idea she was capable of being this aroused. She felt like she could come without him touching her throbbing center.

Pam wrapped her legs around him and he released her breast with a 'pop'. Her lips reclaimed his and she began to undulate her hips, her arousal becoming even more apparent to the both of them. He grabbed her ass and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed and watched breathlessly as she removed the last of her clothing, namely her skirt and panties. She took out her hairclip and shook out her hair. Jim

could only stand and stare at her.

"You are just…so incredibly beautiful." She smiled at his compliment and crawled toward him and his impressive erection. The sight was very erotic, she had to admit. She looked into Jim's eyes and hooked her fingers over the elastic of his underwear and pulled it down. He stepped out of it keeping his eyes locked with hers. She slid a hand up his thigh and let it rest on his hip and could feel the muscles beneath her hand twitch. She slid her other hand up his other thigh and let it rest on his other hip. Slowly, she let them come closer and closer together until they came together around his penis. His hips bucked when she squeezed it at the base and she grew wet at the thought of how much pleasure he must be feeling. With one hand she cupped his balls, gently squeezing them. He threw his head back and moaned. Her other hand stroked him with varying speeds. She wanted to keep him aroused enough to enjoy himself but far enough from the brink to take things a little slower. However, after five minutes or so of her ministrations she decided to heat things up a bit. She gently pulled on his member and indicated that she wanted him to lay down on the bed with her. He obliged and she locked eyes with him again. She licked her lips and kissed the base of his shaft on the underside. She replaced her lips with the tip of her tongue and licked her way up to the tip of his cock. Jim watched in awe as the woman he loved pleasured him in ways he didn't know were possible. She nibbled lightly the skin on the underside the head of his shaft and heard his toes pop as they curled. Jim's eyes snapped shut as she took him in her mouth entirely.

"Jim, honey, look at me." She sucked and licked him while he watched her. She felt so much bolder with him than she did with Roy. She slid a hand down her body and began to touch herself while she made love to him with her mouth. She moaned sending vibrations and waves of pleasure coursing through him until he was ready to explode. He kept moaning her name over and over. He tried to warn her but he could only make an unintelligible noise as he came. It didn't matter, though, she stayed put and sucked him dry. He had never come that hard in his life, and they hadn't even had sex yet.

She was still stroking herself and loving the way he watched her. To both of their surprise he became hard again despite the short lapse in time. She was nearing the edge and he could tell, however he didn't want her to come just yet. He wanted to bring her over and beyond. He sat up and removed her hand from where it was, replacing it with his tongue.

"Oh God, yes!" she cried. Her hands were buried in his hair. He had to grab her hips to keep them still as he lapped at her. He drank in her juices, reveling in her scent and her taste. Jim looked up at her. She was a goddess. Her back was arched, her head turned so that she could watch him pleasure her. He placed a kiss on her center and then entered her with his tongue. She struggled to keep her eyes open, her eyelids fluttered in attempt to watch him. She hissed as she felt him pick up speed. Then she cried out his name when he replaced his tongue with one long finger. He slowed down considerably then, driving her crazy for want of release. He picked up speed and added a finger. Her hips moved with him, her muscles squeezed him so tightly. She was so wet and hot…Next he lowered his head to her clitoris and began to gently suck her. Pam had never felt this before. She was humming with fire and thought that surely she was going to die from so much pleasure. She could feel a thin layer of sweat cover her body as she careened toward her undoing. Pam's legs spread as wide and her toes pointed in the air. Her hips bucked and she cried Jim's name as she shook from her orgasm. Their lips came together after what had seemed like entirely too long. She could taste herself on him and found it intoxicating.

Jim broke the kiss and looked into his love's eyes. He was so overwhelmed at that moment. He had dreamed of this so many times but each dream was a hazy sketch compared to the intense reality of this moment. Pam, while maintaining eye contact with him reached down and positioned his member above her opening. Their lips met as they connected for the first time. He sank into her slowly filling every inch of her he possibly could. She stretched around him and held him so deliciously. He buried himself to the hilt and she wrapped her legs around him pulling him closer. She would disappear inside of him if she could. They just stayed like that, still, fully receiving each other until Pam moved her hips beneath him, setting up a slow, sweet rhythm for them. Jim whispered to her how much he loved her, and only her. How he always had. He never stopped. His whispers became moans that she began to match after a little while. She felt her mind cloud as he picked up speed. She felt a pressure then an intense release as she came again. He waited for her spasms to subside before he began thrusting again. He was getting close, but he wanted to come with her. When she began to move beneath him again he grabbed her hips and pulled her up so that she was sitting on his lap. They moaned at the deep penetration and maintained it as he crossed his legs beneath her, and she wrapped her legs around him. She embraced him and slid back on him, only to thrust forward a bit harder than he had before. Their rhythm was a shorter staccato accented with moans in perfect harmony. Jim felt his release coming as did Pam. He slid a hand between them and rubbed Pam's clitoris. In seconds she was tensing up. They held each other as their undoing hit them. At first neither of them could breathe, but as they unraveled they gasped for breath shaking, crying, laughing. The whole experience was surreal. They shared a soul-searing kiss before settling into a more comfortable position.

Jim suddenly remembered something he wanted to ask Pam.

"So what were you hiding when I talked to you today?"

Pam giggled and laced her fingers with hers. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it lovingly.

"It was a sketch of my favorite part of you," She replied simply. Jim raised an eyebrow and gave a little smirk. "No not that part of you, perv. Your hands. I love your hands. Though you can feel free to convince me which part of you deserves my utmost attention and favor." Jim then took it upon himself to do just that.


End file.
